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LadyBianca's Journal


LadyBianca's Journal

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6 entries this month
 

Your Words on the screen

21:14 Jan 31 2013
Times Read: 413


Morning comes, and slowly I awake,

Dreaming happily of you still,

From the night before, feeling you,

It gives me a tremendous thrill,

And you are the words



Going through the motions of the day,

Doing all the things I have to do,

I must be here,

My thoughts, however, stay with you,

And you are the words



Some days I'm forced to face my fears,

Confronting evils of man's making,

A mantra I recite, and wear like armor,

To guard against the risks I'm taking,

And you are the words



If luck is with me, so then are you,

Taking time out of your busy day,

Coming to visit me in our blue room,

Your type remains, though you can't stay,

And you are the words



I sit, and thoughts swirl 'round me here,

All the colors, merging into white,

As words and phrases, rhythm and rhyme,

Become the verses that I write,

And you are the words



Comes night, the long-awaited time,

And I, with passion scant restrained,

Go to wait for you in our special place,

Read your past type, with love contained,

And you are the words



Your love can elevate my soul,

It's such an awesome, powerful thing,

Exquisite peace it has made mine,

It's taught my heart a song to sing,

And you are the words



Those nights, when fortune smiles on me

Giving time for passion, love, romance,

Letting loose the beast within me waiting,

Together writing music for the Ancient Dance,

And you are the words



The day ends; I go to my bed,

Safe in your love, without a care,

Your image there, fresh in my mind,

I close my eyes, offer a silent prayer,

And you are the words



COMMENTS

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So far away

21:12 Jan 31 2013
Times Read: 414


I met you online,



Mistake number one,



I instantly fell for you,



Our conversations were fun.



You seemed so perfect,



But I wouldn't tell you,



Admitting my love would hurt me,



What was I to do?



You're so far away,



But whenever we speak,



It's like you're right beside me,



Thoughts of you keep me from being weak.



I admitted my love for you,



With one simple line,

"I wish you were close enough to hold me."



I wish you were mine.



My second mistake,



Was realizing I love you,



Knowing I love someone so far away,



It' s killing me- What should I do?



I wish I could run away,



Run to where you are,



I'm afraid I wouldn't make it,



You're just too far.



For you I'll do anything,



Kneel on glass and walk through fire,



I love you- that's my third mistake,



Though saying they're "mistakes" makes me a liar.



The truth is it's wonderful,



To know I have someone to hold,



Even if you're far away,



Knowing you love me gets rid of the cold.



One day we'll be close enough,



To hug, kiss, and hold on tight,



I love you so much,



These "mistakes" make things seem right.



Please tell me you love me,



That you want me too,



I know it will be hard,



But,together we'll make it through.



COMMENTS

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Only Lies

17:52 Jan 16 2013
Times Read: 431


Alone again,

I walk through the night,

yet again,

things didn’t turn out right.



I saw us,

together,

you and I,

forever.



But while I explained this,

you didn’t seem to care,

your eyes,

kept shifting everywhere.



They looked to everything,

but me,

I was the only thing,

you didn’t seem to see.



So I cry,

as I look to the ground,

walking the streets in the rain,

I wear a frown.



You had to ignore me,

pretend I wasn’t there,

so why did you always say,

that you cared?



It wasn’t true,

even I know that,

and you never will,

that’s a fact.



But still I feel for you,

with all of my shattered heart,

I don’t know why,

I still hold you in all of its parts.



It’s been broken,

again and again,

why wont you stop;

it causes me so much pain.



I know you hate me,

I think of it when I bleed,

but when I cry;

I know your all I need.



I want it to stop;

I can’t live like this anymore,

why is it that,

I’m all you ignored?



IM HERE!

WHY CANT YOU SEE!

AND YET YOU’RE STANDING HERE!

RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!!



WHY AM I IGNORED!

LISTEN TO ME!

WHY MUST I BE INVISIBLE!

I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!!!!



Wake up,

and help me out of the rain,

grow up,

and help me stop this pain.



Stop ignoring your problems,

stop ignoring me,

maybe if you would wake up,

you would see.



I didn’t come,

to waste my breath;

will you only hear me,

when i'm dead?



Why cant you save me,

take me from this hell,

stop these lies,

that you always tell.



Help me,

save me,

finally see,

and help set me free.



Why cant I be heard,

why cant I be seen,

why wont you,

pay attention to me?



I continue walking,

all alone,

through the rain,

I can’t go back home...


COMMENTS

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I am Cursed

15:12 Jan 13 2013
Times Read: 441


Even in death love survives

As I once again rise from the dead my heart bleeds for yours

Knowing that we can never be,knowing that I'm bad for you

My love brings pain and torture

Able to sink the strongest ship

I am cursed to walk alone

And cursed will those be that come close to me

The darkness calls my name

I can't resist I'm drawn in

I will always walk in the shadows watching you from afar

Dreaming of us embracing each other kissing our blood stained lips

I am tired of playing games

Tired of listening to the same tune over and over

Time has come to change

Change the bad to good

The dark into light

Fighting,never giving up living in hope that one day I can love without giving pain


COMMENTS

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Crossroads

15:07 Jan 13 2013
Times Read: 442


Crossroads,which way do I turn ?

Left,right,straight ahead or do I just turn back?

I look to the left,what do I see?

I see the light,the warmth fluffy pink pillows on a four poster bed.

What do I feel when I look to the left?

I feel safe, I feel the soft kisses and touches of a gentle soul.

Is this what I want?

I doubt it



I look to the right,what can I see?

I see the darkness,a cold damp dungeon a room that is filled with pain.

What do I feel when I look to the right?

I feel scared,cold,

The rough touch of my tormentor.

Is that what I want?

I doubt it.



I look back from where I came.

What do I see?

I see a place I did not belong a place where I could not be me.

What do I feel when I look back?

I feel depressed and confused ,alone and forgotten.

Is that what I want?

I doubt it .



I look straight ahead,what do I see?

I see the light and the darkness,the fluffy pillows and the dungeon.

What do I feel when I look straight ahead?

I feel the warmth and the cold,

The love and the pain,the soft touch of the gentle soul and the rough hand of my tormentor.

Is that what I want ?



I doubt I will ever find a more perfect place for me then the one that lays straight ahead .



I walk on happy and never look back.

I found the place where I am meant to be.


COMMENTS

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All is Fair in Love And War

21:40 Jan 05 2013
Times Read: 471


At the beginning of the day we rise,

Languidly we begin to live, and loving turns to

Loathing as stupid mistakes are made.



I let you down more times than I can count.

Stupidity, selfishness, I helped cause this hellishness.



Fighting with every step I take, fighting the

Attraction, fighting you.

I need a reason to be angry with you.

Run away, that’s what I’ll do. I can’t take this.



I need to fight these things you stir inside of me.

Now! I will always love you, never forget you, but we both know I’ve got to



Leave you alone. Leave you to your life and your new love.

Oh, how it hurts me to run away, and let you go.

Very hard for me, it is, I feel you’ve got to know.

Even with all that happened, with everything I’ve done, I respect you and I’ll love you forever.



Always, you will be to me, a friend, sparring partner, competition.

Never will I give up on you; that would be the

Damnable thing to do. You were always loved, forever respected.



We must be at war, this I know, my worthy opponent.

A good man, but you’re already dead. Your body deserves to

Rest where your soul already hides. So, raise your sword, lost love mine, and let’s have one more good fight. Let me learn of life and death, right here, right now. Once again with you…


COMMENTS

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